Vulnerable Just Feels Yucky


There aren’t too many times when I dread going to work, especially on Sundays. One of those few times happened this past Sunday. I have been struggling with a cold or sinus infection or bronchitis or perhaps a little bit of everything and I simply didn’t want to get out of bed. Sunday worship service is already a tax on my system because it is the one day of the week when I get to see “everybody” and “everything” needs to work properly so that “everyone” can get in and out in an orderly fashion (it just occurred to me how spiritual that sounds). Let me put it another way.


Imagine you have been putting together a project at work with people in other offices and things have finally progressed enough that the other workers are coming to your office to see your presentation. At the same time you have some potential clients coming in to see the same presentation as they may want to get involved in the project too. As you can imagine, you work hard to prepare your presentation and the days leading up to it get a bit more harried. You get the office ready. The conference room is all spruced up and you purchase some drinks and snacks and prep them for the big day. The day arrives and you wake up feeling like you haven’t awakened yet and you would just assume the grim reaper be standing outside your door. He doesn’t take you because you seem so bad off so you drag yourself to work anyway and prepare to do your best. You get there and you realize you just can’t do it and so you find someone else to help you pull it off. You hate asking at the last second and you hate putting off your responsibilities, especially such important tasks, on someone else.


Now that you know how my day went on Sunday, let me just say that I hate asking for help when I am helpless. It’s so much easier to ask for help when I am in control. I feel so vulnerable when I am helpless and vulnerable just feels yucky. Yucky isn’t wrong or bad, it’s just yucky. Vulnerability is a tough thing for me to engage. Thing is, vulnerability is the place God engages us and transforms us. Vulnerability is the place in life that enables us to learn hard lessons and change. Vulnerability trumps stubbornness and hard heartedness. Learning is easy. Learning and changing is much harder and only comes when we engage God in the deepest parts of ourselves. It is more than just guilt and pity. Almost everyone feels guilty when they get caught. Almost everyone has a pity party when they go through a difficult time in life. A person can be helpless without being hopeless. Engaging God in our helplessness is our best shot at getting what God wants for us. In Matthew 5, Jesus said:


“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 Blessed are those who mourn,
      for they will be comforted.
 Blessed are the meek,
      for they will inherit the earth.
 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
      for they will be filled.
 Blessed are the merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy.
 Blessed are the pure in heart,
      for they will see God.

About admin

I am currently serving as the Associate Minister at a Church in Earlham, Iowa, population about 1300. There are probably another 1300 folks who live outside the “city limits.” I am married to my lovely wife Heather. We moved from Mesa, AZ in January 2006. We have a dog (Sammy) and a cat (Daphne). We also have a 92 year old house the sucks the life out of me (Rex), and costs a whole lot of money to upgrade, and is generally a pain in my butt…but I am not bitter. So far I have set my arm on fire, broken my wrist, broken my toe, got tendonitis in my foot, fell out of the bucket of skid loader, captured and “removed” 13 bats from my attic, been to the chiropractor dozens of times and have more doctors on my payroll than I care to admit. I am not very handy! Iowa has been so life-changing for me, but I love the pace of life, pace of ministry and the quality of people. I went to college at Atlanta Christian College near Atlanta, GA where I recieved a Bachelors Degree in Christian Ministry/Preaching. I went to Seminary at Emmanuel School of Religion in Johnson City, TN., where I recieved a Master of Divinity degree with a specialization in Christian Care and Counseling. In addition, I have 2800 hours of post-graduate training as a Chaplain specializing in Crisis Care. I have served Churches in GA, KY, NC, AZ and now Iowa. I have also served as a Chaplain at hospitals in AL and AZ in addition to serving as a Corporate Chaplain with several companies in the metro Phoenix area for a short time. I was also blessed with the opportunity to serve as a Chaplain at the in-field hospital at a NASCAR race in Talladega, AL (once) and as a Chaplain to the Mesa Miners professional baseball team (six weeks). Rex L. Stancil Associate Minister Earlham Church of Christ 515.867.8559 mobile 515.758.2020 home 515.758.2787 office
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